CrazyWithAPen

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157,578 notes

notapaladin:

mistressofpie:

A super girly and peppy blonde girl who wears bright pink dresses and skirts everyday is best friends with a quiet goth girl who of course sports all black clothing and big lace up boots. Someone jokes and yells to them “Hey look, a fairy and a vampire!” The blonde turns around and flashes a fanged grin and says “She’s human, actually.”

Someone give me this cartoon series.

(via dumbpost)

226,225 notes

ezok:

kayleeseranada:

celebritiesandmovies:

The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, “Forgot my pencil”, but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.

Did they just make up this entire movie on the spot.

Yes, yes they did.

(via angry-wizards)

213,225 notes

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via fatniss-neverlean)

297,106 notes

itsgayerinenochian:

satans-ghost:

Do you ever get like super vulnerable late at night that you just want to spill your heart out and say how you feel because you’ve been holding it in for so long and you just need some ventilation and there’s just something about two in the morning that makes me lose my filter and say the things I would never have the guts to say when the sun is up.

the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

(Source: mingdliu, via living-life-letting-go-of-pain)

123,874 notes

beardedspidey:

videohall:

News Anchor in my area loses it over a Fat Cat that likes to swim.

I don’t know how she kept it together for as long as she did. I started cackling when the cat started doggy paddling.

(Source: wdbj7.com, via thoroughlyginnified)

612,449 notes

hookslovelyswan:

strawwolf:

snowingblackout:

giveme-brandy-onmybreath:

bloodydiadem:

That moment you realize you are Edmund

he almost gets them killed because he wants sweets

we’re still Edmund

except that kid was a damn liar when it came to Turkish Delight

I can’t tell you how many years I craved Turkish Delight after seeing the BBC production of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. And then one day I see a package of them in the store and I am practically salivating because I had dreamed of how amazing it tasted. And then all my dreams died when I bit in to one only to find that is TASTES LIKE FREAKING PERFUME!!!!

Let this be a lesson kids. Just like vanilla and cinnamon, Turkish Delight is a damn lie.

BWAHAHAHA! Truth!

168,835 notes

shart-nado:

Think Anorexia is funny? Sorry. I am a survivor and find NOTHING cute about this.

Wanna dress up like an Anorexic? All it takes is:

  • 4 years of hospitalization 
  • A nasogastric feeding-tube because you’ve starved yourself so much that your body doesn’t recognize food as a good thing and tries to attack itself.
  • Re-Feeding Syndrome, which can kill you. 
  • Emotional struggles for years. 
  • A father crying and pleading on his knees begging for you to get help
  • A mother who cries every time she sees you because you look and SMELL like death.
  • Holidays missed, birthdays crying in a hospital.
  • Almost every major organ in your body failing.
  • A shower chair - because you can’t stand in the shower because you’re too weak and the warm water could make you pass out.
  • A wheelchair, because you are too weak to walk and it could make you go into cardiac arrest.
  • A lifetime of medications for anxiety and the health issues “Anna Rexia” caused.
  • Plenty of money for multiple ER trips due to “Anna Rexia” even in recovery.
  • And if you don’t get help like I do, or even if you do, a coffin. Because I’ve lost more friends to this eating disorder then anything I’ve ever faced.

I almost died from this. I know it’s supposed to be funny and shit and yeah I get that, but seriously. THIS IS NOT FUNNY. Anorexia is nothing to party about or laugh at. It’s real, it’s deadly, and should not be marketed as a slutty outfit.

Want to dress as “Anna Rexia”? Just go as a Vampire, or a Zombie. Because 1/3 of us are dead.

(via medusaisdead)